There comes a moment when we think there’s no turning back.

We think we’ve gone too far on the spectrum of adaptation, acceptance, settling. We’ve married the wrong man or woman. We’ve taken the wrong job. We moved into the wrong neighborhood. Our friends don’t suit us any longer, but it’s too late to change them.

In fact, our entire life or just a part of it feels wrong which just throws it all off.

This can happen at any point in a life, and it can happen many times in a life. No matter how many times that unsettling moment(s) occur(s); it’s always OK to question, it’s always OK to see whether or not it’s internal or external that needs changing. It’s not always easy to know which is which. Sometimes we think we need to change everything on the outside to change the inside, and sometimes we do. But other times, we just need to take a step back.

There are usually signs along the way. There are always moments of grace. There are opportunities that come up when you’re starting to see which path to take.

One thing I’ve noticed is when you’ve finally made a decision, when you’re finally become absolutely sure in knowing which path you want to take, and you’ve figured out what’s wrong or what’s in your way – something appears from your old life as a test. It can be a job that is so similar to your previous job but teases you because it pays a little more. It can be a house just a smidgen nicer in the same neighborhood you wanted to move out of. It could be a new person just like your ex dressed in new fancy clothes.

Don’t mistake this test for grace or mercy.

See it for what it is.


(to loosely quote Julia Cameron from The Artist’s Way.

I have these words written in red letters on my refrigerator. It’s saved me countless times.

It’s typically the moment you’re about to really excel and push to a new level that the test appears. I see it as the moment the hero is about to discover the elixir when a temptation arrives in her way. The true hero sees it for what it is, and steps over it, focused completely on what she wants.

Be that hero.

I’m learning more and more why archetypes and stories have been told for thousands of years. It’s because they exist in real life in some way.

These aren’t just stories. These are the fabric of our beings.

If it feels icky, it is icky. If it feels old yet comfortable, it’s because it’s what you’ve known. It’s not where you’re going.

So, the test.

It’s just asking, most of the time, in a kind and simple manner –

“hey there, ya sure you want this new life? You sure you want that life you think is unimaginable and you sure you want the ultimate happiness?”

– the test

And, to quote Michelle Burleson – “you sure you want to be the hero of your own story?”

The thing about this test or opportunity is that it seems the easier way, and it often is the easier way, at first…until the years pile on and what’s become of a life is a series of easy outs turned into a living hell.

And yet, again, even if you take the test and go back down the same route you’ve come from – I really believe – every few years – another moment of grace or mercy appears.

It will keep appearing; showing you again that there is another way – perhaps a way that society doesn’t deem worthy but your soul does. It will keep showing up. It will keep wanting to hear and be listened to. It will never give up on you.

You just have to take the first step. You just have to decide that you won’t do this little thing anymore. One step at a time until a new life is created.

It’s that easy…and that difficult.

Happy New Years resolutions. You got this.